The day you went AwaY

01 November 2006

10am in the morning, before i went to school i kissed my Mom and say goodbye to her. Her kiss was warmer than before.

Then i went to school by the school bus. Before i went into the school bus i had my glance on my Mom's car. Ordinary car.

It was the last day of sem 2 examination for Form 1 students. I was in St.Peter Telipok. We finished at 5.30pm. My brother and I went to the bus stop, waiting for school bus, to go home. We reached at home about 6.00pm. My uncle was waiting in front of the house.

He asked us to follow him. I was blurred. So we went into his car. I was afraid, not knowing what is going on. I finally have my courage to ask him, what is it so important that he brought us to his house.

He said, "your Mom....car accident..." I couldn't say anything. My heart whispered hoping that he is joking. Then, I asked him back about it. He was saying the same thing. My brother asked him if she's alright.

My Uncle said, she's gone forever. I didn't know how to react. I didn't cry as I was still hoping that all of this was a prank..or more or less if she's involved in a car accident, atleast she must br alright.

We reached at my Aunt's house. She hugged me tightly. She was crying. From that moment, I knew i lost everything. I lost my only parent, my beloved Mother.

I started to cry..cry..cry..and..screaming. All the relatives were in the house hugged me but i couldn't feel anything. All I want was my Mom. Some of them motivated me, while some were just there crying and they couldn't say anything to me.

I spent the whole night with tears. Only tears. I just felt like I lost everything. Pastors arrived and all of them started to pray for me. After praying, I felt something strange in my heart. The warmness in my heart. Someone wispered to me that, God will never let me go. God is there for me always and forever. Even if I lost my Mom now, there will always be God to protect me. God knows who am I. He knows what I am going through and what I went through before. He is the source of my strength.

From then on, I never felt empty or lonely. I feel like in everything I do, every obstacle that i went through, there is always God that protects me. It is Indeed. God loves me. His love is for eternity and I believe God will never let me go.

Thanks Jesus for the strength that he gave me on The day she went away. I'd been always thinking that I lost everything after she went away, But actually God is always here.With me.

I love you Mother (R.I.P Ruhini Masli)